By Aaron 8/12/2009
With the latest Harry Potter movie out a few weeks ago and now the start of the blitz for the new Twilight movie there is a lot of talk about HP v. Twilight. It boils down to: 1) Harry’s maturing fans are turning to Twilight, and 2) Meyer’s Twilight writing is much better romance.
Even if Harry’s fans are reading Twilight, it’s not because Twilight is more mature, it’s much more likely that: 1) Harry’s fans are the only readers who can hold books that big and 2) there just aren’t anymore Harry books to read.
Twilight lacks anything remotely literary in comparison to Harry’s obvious Latin, Greek, historical and other influences. If you remove the magic from Harry you get a compelling good vs. evil story with extremely developed characters and page-turning writing. If you remove the vampires from Twilight you get a 110-year-old pedophile stalker and a book embarrassingly close to your mom’s romance novel.
“But Twilight is so romantic!” Really? Twilight seems like a prude Mormon with a repressed vampire fetish wrote it. Not to mention it tells a generation of young girls that obsession and bloodsucking men are romantic. Can we at least agree that your man biting open your uterus with sharp fangs is probably a turn off – for both of you?
People have said Harry’s romance reads like your parents wrote it. Sounds good to me. Your parents learned to tell bedtime stories when you were three years old. This skill was useful so they could tell a story with a beginning-middle-and-end. Meyer’s children must have been fast sleepers because her books are defined by anti-climax. The lack of action explains why Twilight is a single sex phenomenon.
Vampires are cool but how cool are the Twilight vampires? They walk this fine emo-goth line of black clothes and pasty skin, yet sparkle in the sunlight. Have you ever heard of vampires that are daywalkers? Sure the vampires have mutant powers no vampires in history have possessed but they eat what – venison? How many emo-goth kids can hunt down a deer much less wipe the black eye liner out of their eyes long enough to bring down a buck? It’s these mixed messages that really kill me.
Maybe Twilight is more entertaining in the tabloids sector – all those girls getting all hot about Pattinson’s love triangle between Kirsten Stewart and the tabloid girl of the week – but I’d much rather see Emma Watson. I like Kirsten Stewart, but she’s no Hermione Granger.
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